LCF DIARY ENTRY (DAY 4)
Day 4 First public day:
12am: sleep is a myth.
1am: caffeine is queen. Long live caffeine!
8am: we queue once more to get into the venue. The man in front is a green bean importer. I want the ground to swallow me up.
8.01am: I have been offered the following samples: 3 washed, 42 natural anerobics, 55 co-fermented, 6 geishas and 1 superrrrr special gesha. I want the ground to swallow me up.
8.10am: he is now following me to my stand and despite me increasing my pace he is still trying to sell me coffee!
8.15am: when he finally seems to understand that we only source from female producers, he makes the earth shattering argument that his wife is female. Coffee is funny like that sometimes I guess.
8.30am: Jess and Callum are here on time and they both look like they’ve slept well. Good for them...
8.45: I have barely begun to consider making up batch brews when I see that they have done everything. My heart is full.
9.30am: the general public filter through and instead of being a deleted 28 days Later scene, it’s actually very pleasant.
10am: rumblings about yet another alternative milk-based after party are circulating. I will not be attending. I am celiac and too old.
11am: the RHOC has gone down a real treat. The ‘orange wine’ tasting note appears to be resonating with this demographic. Who have I become.
1pm: we have shamelessly traded coffee for beers and donuts.
2pm: everyone has eaten. Everyone has had an alcoholic drink. Everyone is happy.
2.30pm: despite Jess being able to pour excellent flat whites, I insist on making one for a punter. As the inevitable phallic shaped ‘latte art’ emerges, I consider how awful pride is.
3pm: more drinks, this time whiskey, appear.
5pm: rumours of the Minor Figures after party have reached fever pitch now. I will not be going.
9pm: we are at the Minor Figures after party. Coffee is weird.
11.30pm: when home, I remember that I am celiac and that those cocktails all had oat milk and caffeine in them. I visit the bathroom.
